In the fall, the changing of green to a variety of reds and yellows lifts my heart. I love all the greenery we have in our summer home near Seattle, but the spark of color amid the evergreen trees is a delightful change.
For the last decade, those colors marked the change not only of seasons, but of location. Fall means preparation time for months away. There’s the garden plot to clean out and potted plants to shift. Several details to attend to as well as deck chairs to put away, and bicycles to store.
Not only is there preparation, but there are the last visits to family and friends before we depart for six months. It’s never easy to leave them, but it’s harder as the grandkids get older. The switch to phone (and video) calls, texts, and emails helps, but it’s not the same as face to face. Forty years ago it would have been letters and postcards, so I’m thankful for the current technology.
My mind prepares weeks before we leave as I consider what needs to be moved, packed or stored. The physical work happens the last two weeks. I struggle to keep track of it all, Even though we’ve done this so many times, it’s still stressful.
Every year I ask myself why go? Every year I think about what it would be like if we didn’t. It comes back to the cold and rain, and how difficult this is for my husband. I want to be where he is, and he wants to be where it’s drier and warmer.
It’s a combination of bittersweet and anticipation. As heavy as my heart gets when saying goodbyes, there is the anticipation of the trip and the glad hellos when we arrive. Once we’re on the road, I’m glad we’re on our way.
In some ways it’s gotten easier as I’ve leaned on the Lord to give me focus and remember what’s important. It’s a balancing act I’m not especially good at on my own. But when I focus on Him by stopping and spending time with Him, He brings me into a place of serenity and wholeness. It’s a work in progress and I’m encouraged when I see signs of improvement. I’m more relaxed even as I work hard and keep doing the next thing.
Years ago when we prepared for a trip, I was so stressed trying to remember all the things we needed to bring and getting the kids to do their part. I was not pleasant to be around. It usually involved yelling and drama. I’m so thankful I’m not that person anymore. Perfectionism is such a trap, and I’ve overcome much of it.
I have learned to ask God to keep me on track. And I stop and listen. He’s good at bringing to mind whatever I need to remember. I didn’t even know that was a possibility before. Now I rely on His perfect memory and attention to detail, trusting Him to guide me with His impeccable timing.
Though changing seasons may be wonderful or challenging, I know I’m never alone. He is the God of all seasons and He’s proved to me I can trust Him through each one.
“... and behold, I am with you all the days (perpetually, uniformly, and on every occasion), to the [very] close and consummation of the age. Amen (so let it be).” Matthew 28:20b (AMPC)
Lord, you are such an amazing guide. Thank you for being in the details. You never give up on me, never get impatient with me. Help me see any areas that I am hanging on to, trying to do it all myself. I want to trust you with my future, for changing seasons to come. Expose any areas of fear or anxiety and help me to completely rest in your great love for me. Thank you for always being there for me. I am never alone and I am so thankful for this truth.
